Many years ago, I bought a set of AngelⓇ Cards and I keep them on my desk. I select one each day for inspiration. Often the cards coincide with my current experience or bring to light things that I’ve purposely been avoiding.
On Saturday, I picked card Willingness, and I laughed to myself because I was thinking how I’ve mastered willingness 🙂 It was only after reflecting on the card for sometime, I realised that the frustrations that I had been experiencing the week before, were all down to my UNwillingness to co-operate and instead, I wanted to have my own way.
I have been inhibiting the creative process, I’ve taken the attitude: do it my way or I don’t want to play anymore. This is an ancient position for me and somehow, I end up there without knowing that I’d even picked that path. I wake up one day and realise that I’m acting like a willful brat.
See, willful & willingness, maybe close cousins, but not they’re not the same. I think my willfulness comes from the idea that if I don’t hold on really tight to what I want, someone is going to rip it away from me and then, I’ll have nothing. I won’t have enough or be enough. I hold on so tight to my position out of massive anxiety.
The antidote to willfulness is willingness. I don’t have to let go, I just need to become willing to accept something different. Willingness is a very soft, very gentle quality. It doesn’t require any action, it only asks for a preparedness to (in the future) begin opening up.
It’s like how a dandelion becomes willing to share its florets in order to spread life, but that is all it does. The wind does the rest.