Tag Archives: Good Enough

Do I Deserve This?

Lonely_TreeSomething that I struggle with every day is maintaining a feeling of worthiness even when others are treating me badly. That I don’t have to be treated badly is a task for another life time. Right now, I just have to learn how to hold on to feeling good about myself.

Normally, the slippery slope begins with an incident of some kind, that is often characterised by me feeling ‘unseen’. From there it may escalate to shouting match with the one that doesn’t see or, more typicallly, it is an aggressive exchange that takes place entirely in my head. I replay the infraction over in my head, a number of times, and then I start to gather more ‘evidence’, of other times that I was misunderstood, yelled at, left out or disregarded.

Once I have a fair number of examples in my head of how badly I am treated, I ask myself the question: Do I Deserve This Treatment? Today I have come to understand that there is no good way to answer this question:

Yes (I deserve it) – I’m a bad person that should be punished and I’m treated badly because that is all I’m good for.

No (I don’t deserve it) – I am a victim and I continue to be treated badly because I am powerless to change how I’m received.

Today I realise that it is the asking and answering of this question that leaves me feeling bad, because I have created a link between someone else’s ‘bad’ behaviour and what I deserve. I did that. Nobody said to me, “I snapped at you because you don’t deserve to be spoken to well”. I just made that connection for myself and it feels bad, it feels unworthy.

From now on, I am going to know that I only deserve to be loved (as my friend Todd told me on Valentine’s Day) and other people’s behaviour can’t change that.

[I don’t know where this image comes from, but I think it is so beautiful and if it belongs to you, please let me know]

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Going Through The Motions

I’ve worked it out!! Why I should do what is good for me, even if I don’t feel like  it, specially if I don’t feel like it! If we relentlessly do what is good for us, we develop doing good as a habit.

hab·it (from dictionary.com)
noun
1. an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary: the habit of looking both waysbefore crossing the street.
2. customary practice or use: Daily bathing is an American habit.
3. a particular practice, custom, or usage: the habit of shaking hands.
4. a dominant or regular disposition or tendency; prevailing character or quality: She has a habit of looking at the brightside of things.
5. addiction, especially to narcotics (often preceded by the ).

I don’t feel unloveable & unworthy because someone neglected me once. I didn’t develop an attitude of not-good-enough through be rejected once. My self-loathing developed over time through habitual reinforcement of messages that I translated to an understanding and belief that I am not worthy of love & goodness.

Therefore, if I turn the message around and habitually reinforce it to revamp my belief of my own worthiness and lovableness, I will eventually develop a new habit, of walking around the world with an attitude of good-enough.

So whether I believe it or not, feel like it or not, I need to go through the motions of doing what is good for me. I need to tip the scales in favour of good messages because the negative messages have a head start. And deep inside, I know exactly what is good for me.

You Have What It Takes

Chris Brogan is a smart guy. Fortune 500 Companies pay him to speak. So the stuff that comes out of his mouth/off his pen, is worthy of attention. Today I need lots of up talk, because I am feeling low on energy, enthusiasm & hope. Read his post and learn….

YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES

You are a singer and a dancer and a storyteller and an artist. You are all the various things you want to be. If not professionally, then for passion. And never forget that little branch. You might never play basketball for the NBA, but why would you let that keep you off the playground? You might never see your painting in the Louvre (unless you’re fast and crafty!), but why would that keep your brushes dry?

via You Have What It Takes.

I love this post and am going to read it often.

What Would I Do?

This is the best post that I have read in days. It is speaking to my very core today:

Ask yourself this question: “If I REALLY loved myself, what would I do?”

via Mastin Kipp: http://thedailylove.com/we-date-who-we-are

I recommend that you read the full post because it is just so true, and you will find all kinds of other delicious (soul satisfying)  gifts there.

 

 

 

 

Simple…Existence

The reading on this card brings tears to my eyes.

You are not accidental. Existence needs you. Without you something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it. That’s what gives you dignity, that the whole existence will miss you. The stars and sun and moon, the trees and birds and earth – everything in the universe will feel a small place is vacant which cannot be filled by anybody except you.

This gives you a tremendous joy, a fulfillment that you are related to existence, and existence cares for you. Once you are clean and clear, you can see tremendous love falling on you from all dimensions.

Commentary on the Image:

This naked figure sits on the lotus leaf of perfection, gazing at the beauty of the night sky. She knows that “home” is not a physical place in the outside world, but an inner quality of relaxation and acceptance. The stars, the rocks, the trees, the flowers, fish and birds – all are our brothers and sisters in this dance of life. We human beings tend to forget this, as we pursue our own private agendas and believe we must fight to get what we need. But ultimately, our sense of separateness is just an illusion, manufactured by the narrow preoccupations of the mind.

Now is the time to look at whether you are allowing yourself to receive the extraordinary gift of feeling “at “home” wherever you are. If you are, be sure to take time to savor it so it can deepen and remain with you. If on the other hand you’ve been feeling like the world is out to get you, it’s time to take a break. Go outside tonight and look at the stars.