For some time now, I’ve been feeling like my perspective is warped and I can’t see the next step in front of me. It comes and goes, some days I’m filled with enthusiasm to make plans for the future. Today, I’ve lost my perspective again, I can’t see the wood for the trees.
In photography, perspective is about angles and distances and depending on how you use them, you can create optical illusions. I don’t think that this is too different from how the mind processes stuff. I feel like I can’t really tell the difference between the real and the illusion right now. It may be that I am too close to the problem, or maybe I’m too far away. Maybe I’m standing at the wrong angle in relation to the thing that needs action or detachment.
I’m struggling to see how to apply my program to this loss of perspective. I’m not about to admit that I am powerless over my mind. That is the first step down a slippery slope. I wonder if I should be handing my mind over to the care of God. Also seems like a dangerous move? As I read this back, it seems like maybe I’m heading to schizophrenia or dementia at my tender young age. Gosh! This gets scarier and scarier by the minute.
No, I think that I am going to lean on some of my fellowship slogans. I particularly like:
This Too Shall Pass, Keep It Simple, One Day At A Time & Easy Does It.
The one that I would change is:
Keep An Open Mind to just Keep A Mind.
I suspect that this lack of perspective comes from being overly stressed and over exposure to forking paths. If I can just keep a series of wonderful weekends flowing and take some down time over the holidays, I’ll get my perspective back. Perhaps when everything comes back into focus, the blooms before me, will be brighter and more colourful than before.
My Recovery in 12 Steps 